Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Jerry and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!" Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, 'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet any more!"
A guy goes hunting and gets lost in the woods. Remembering the universal distress signal of 3 shots, he fires 3 shots into the air and waits. After an hour he fires 3 more shots. Another hour goes by and still no one comes to help. Preparing for the next sequence he says to himself, “I hope somebody comes this time because these are my last three arrows.”
Top five signs you have hired the wrong hunting guide:
5. Your guide blows into big sea shell horn to attract game and a bunch of Vikings show up instead.
4. Your guide is completely outfitted with "Barney" camping equipment.
3. As you close in on a deer, your guide whispers in an Elmer Fudd voice, "Be vehhwey vehhwey quiet."
2. He calls trees by their first names.
And the number one sign you have hired the wrong hunting guide:
1. He is prone to scream, "Run, Bambi, RUN!"
Hope you had a great weekend! Jeannie got her first deer of bow season on opening day! How cool is that? We hope your hunting season is just a great as ours!! We hope to have some more stories and some pictures this week! Happy Hunting!!
