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there smarter than you think
Posted On 07/24/2009 13:24:32 by waterdog4
7  reasons not to mess with children.

A  little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said  it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even  though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little  girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher  reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically  impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask  Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The  little girl replied, 'Then you ask him '.



A  Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were  drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's  work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she  asked what the drawing was.

The  girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The  teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks  like.'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl  replied, 'They will in a minute.'



A  Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and  six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father  and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to  treat our brothers and sisters?'

Without missing a beat one little boy  (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not  kill.'



One  day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the  kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of  white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette  head.

She  looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs  white, Mom?'

Her  mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry  or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The  little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma,  how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
 


The  children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade  them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it  will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer,  she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at  the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's  dead.'



A  teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make  the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood,  as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the  face.'

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am  standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my  feet?'

A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't  empty.'



The  children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for  lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a  note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE. God is  watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the  table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had  written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the  apples.


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Viewing 1 - 2 out of 2 Comments

07/26/2009 09:03:11
heres one frome my son @ 3 yrs my wife and opened the door to find the mailman knocking my son looked at the mailman and said My mom just farted


07/25/2009 19:32:43
haha thanks this made me luagh



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