Walmart Knows All
Posted On 04/17/2008 08:17:20 by BHShaman
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One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell, I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
There is a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart, just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars....alot cheaper than a doctor.
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours it in and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart. That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and await the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins, not your's, get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart!
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